AND FINALLY

Why Rotary can’t turn a ​blind eye to domestic abuse

Imagine you are in an abusive relationship. It doesn’t have to be physical ​violence, it could be coercive, financial or psychological abuse which is endured ​regularly.

Imagine that right now, this instant, you have decided enough is enough and you ​want to leave your partner.

In your mind, draw up a list of reasons why you would leave this abusive ​relationship. And then counter-balance that with a list of reasons which would ​compel you to stay in that toxic environment.

At first glance, the desire to leave and start afresh is compelling. It’s the only way ​to break the chain of abuse, ending painful years of physical and psychological ​abuse. Walking out of the family home could also bring the perpetrator to justice.

But then, when you consider what you stand to lose by walking out of the door, ​the list is longer. There are financial and security considerations; where will you ​live and how long for? There are possibly children to take into account, work ​issues, and what will your family and friends think? There is also the fear of being ​alone.

During a domestic abuse training session for Magistrates a while ago, we did this ​exercise and were surprised to discover that when you properly think about the ​fall-out, fleeing a volatile home environment is not so easy.

The training exercise explained why many domestic violence cases listed in court ​(they are known as DV cases) are withdrawn because the alleged victim will not ​give evidence against their partner.

In this month’s issue of Rotary Magazine, we hear from Nicky Alberry from ​Swindon Rotary Club who is heading up the Domestic Abuse and Domestic ​Violence Against the Person Team charged with raising awareness of this delicate ​issue in our Rotary communities.

Nicky was my sponsor into Rotary. During her year as High Sheriff of Wiltshire, ​she used the platform to encourage discussion and support around this ever-​increasing problem. It coincided with focussing on her own charity, the Swindon ​Domestic Abuse Support Service, which has received incredibly backing from ​Swindon Rotary Club. In one year from the club’s annual charity ball, the ​Rotarians donated £40,000 to furnish the town’s refuge.

I am mindful I wrote at length last month singing the praises of my first Rotary ​club, but the way the Swindon Rotarians have engaged, supporting those in the ​community dealing with domestic abuse, is a standard for us all. From raising ​money and providing direct support to the refuge, as well as taking shifts in the ​charity shop, to promoting awareness and supporting White Ribbon Day.

In November’s issue of Rotary Digital, we will be turning the spotlight on another ​beacon Rotary club which has placed domestic abuse high on its agenda. Pat ​Jeffery, once a victim of domestic abuse herself from Maidstone Dawn Patrol ​Rotary Club, talks about the meaningful steps they have taken in Kent to work ​closely with the police, council, social services and other support groups.

The statistics are stark:

In one year in Kent, the number of women who made calls to the police for ​domestic abuse incidents was 40,000. A further 18,000 men also made calls. ​When police visited, 31,000 children were caught up in the abuse. One in five ​crimes in Kent are related to domestic abuse and, alarmingly, 37% of suicides ​have a domestic abuse background.

Nationally, two women die from domestic abuse each week.

It’s for these reasons alone that domestic abuse is a delicate issue which Rotary ​cannot turn a blind eye to.